


I'm longing to linger till dawn dear (buddy buddies)

by jimbethy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (Not between Bucky and Steve), And a lot of hugs / kisses, Angry Steve Rogers, Angst, Artist Steve Rogers, Avengers Tower, Awesome Peggy Carter, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Sings, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Canon-Typical Violence, Clint Bartons Playlist of Awesomness, Dancing, Drunken Confessions, Flashbacks, Fluff, Humour, Hurt Steve Rogers, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Love Confessions, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Non-descript torture, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sharing a Bed, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Stubborn Tony Stark, The Avengers Are Good Bros, They got together in '41, Wakanda (Marvel), a lot of crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 17:47:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18503983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimbethy/pseuds/jimbethy
Summary: "I- I can't explain it. If I could show you, I would." He faltered at the end of his sentence. This was when someone, finally, broke their argument."Actually," it was Wanda, her voice soft, "I can show them."'He yelled, arms spread wide, and grinned. Bared his teeth to the heavens from the pits of hell.He found that there was a certain beauty in setting the world on fire and watching amidst the flames.'The Avengers make a movie night of watching Steve and Buckys life  /   a twist on Stucky through the ages





	1. Listen to the Sounds

"Look, I understand that you and Barnes have always been buddy buddy or whatever, but we needed them-"  
"Tony, you don't. You don't understand."  
"Then explain it to me."  
They were currently in the Avengers Tower's common room. Along with them were the rest of the Avengers, including their new recruits; Scott and Peter. Two years after their Civil War an attack had started in New York - 'fans' of Hydras work wanted to finish what they started, and they began by attacking all major cities. Being constantly begged by Pepper and Rhodey, Tony finally gave in and called Steve. Unsurprisingly, after saving the world for the umpteenth time, the 'rogue' Avengers were taken off of the wanted list. Bucky no longer needed Asylum in Wakanda. He had his memory's back. Most of them, at least. He still rarely spoke around anyone but Steve and would sometimes relapse, falling into his own ways. But he was safe. He was safe with Steve.  
"I- I can't explain it. If I could show you, I would." He faltered at the end of his sentence. This was when someone, finally, broke their argument.  
"Actually," it was Wanda, her voice soft, "I can show them."  
"You can?"  
"Yes, but it will be very personal."  
"I don't care. Buck?" He turned to his friend, who had been quiet throughout their argument. Their argument about him.  
"Whatever makes you happy," he mumbled. Steve continued to stare at him, one eyebrow raised. "I'm fine with it Stevie.. there's not much anyone doesn't know about me anyway." He got a smile.

Bucky and Steve sat next to each other on the large red ottoman in the centre of the room. Wanda stood behind them, one hand placed gently on each of their temples, red, wiry strings growing from her palms. All eyes were on them. 

Instead of an image, a soft voice echoed through the air, "I'm James."  
"Steven," was the reply.  
Another voice spoke, "You boys be back before the rain starts - don't want ya gettin' another cold,"  
"Don't worry Mrs Roger's, I'll make sure Stevie don't get too wet."  
More phrases floated through the atmosphere, blurring together yet completely coherent.  
"Is he gonna be alright?"  
"What's it like?" "Hm?" "Kissing."  
Sobbing. "I miss her. Dammit Buck, I miss her so damn much." "I know pal, I know. Ya gonna be fine, we're gonna be just fine. I know."  
Laughing.  
"We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride back from the cemetery." "I know, I'm sorry. I just.. kinda wanted to be alone." "How was it?" "It was okay. She's next to dad." "I was gonna ask," "I know what you're gonna say, Buck, I just.." "You can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It'll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash. Come on." "Thank you Buck, but I can get can get by on my own." "The thing is.. you don't have to. I'm with you 'til the end of the line pal."  
"What the fuck was that Steve!" "Buck, I had em-" "No! Don't start with that bullshit Steve. God, if the coppers hadn't come, we'd be dead,"  
A low voice, singing "There isn't any end to my devotion. It's deeper, dear, by far than any ocean. I find that, day by day, you're making all my dreams come true."  
"May I have this dance?"  
"Punk," a laugh. "Jerk."  
"Hey, pick on someone your own size!" A heavy thud.  
A slam of a bottle. "Ya don' mean that Buck, ya drunk."  
"God, it's beautiful Stevie. So fuckin' beautiful."  
"Come 'ere doll." "Shudup." "Cmon, y'know ya love it."  
"You got your orders?" "107th Infantry, shipping out to England tomorrow."  
"Where are we going?" "The future."  
"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."  
"Stevie, when I go.. I want'chya to find someone. A nice dame." "Buck-" "I want ya to be happy pal, so don't wait around for me."  
"I don't want to kill anyone. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from."  
"Whatever happens, stay who you are, not just a soldier, but a good man."  
"Hail Hydra."  
"And are these really your only choices? A lab rat or a circus monkey?.. These men are what's left of the 107th infantry."  
"Steve?" "I thought you were dead." "I thought you were smaller."  
"Did it hurt?" "A little." "Is it permanent?" "So far."  
"Go on, get outta here!" "No, not without you!"  
"That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb to back down from a fight.. I'm following him."  
"Carter, when I go-" "If you go." "When I go, look after him for me. Please."  
"Please welcome.. Miss America!" Wolf whistles and loud laughs.  
"I had 'em on the ropes." "I know ya did."  
"Bucky, no!" A scream. A sob.  
"Barnes is dead."  
"Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him? Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must of thought you were worth it." "I'm going after Schmidt. I'm not going to stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured."  
A scream. A grunt. A slap.  
"Useless."  
The sound of a saw.  
"What's your name?" "James Buchanan Barnes." "What's your name?" "James Buchanan Barnes." A pained shout. "What's your name?" "The Winter Soldier."  
"Soldier?" "Ready to comply."  
"..Barnes? James, please, don't do this."  
"You've been asleep Cap.. for almost seventy years."  
"Everything special about you came from a bottle."  
"It's so cold Peggy. So cold."  
Sobbing.  
"..that to build a really better world, sometimes means having to tear the old one down. And that makes enemies."  
"I know who killed Fury. Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years." "So, he's a ghost story."  
"Believe it or not, it's hard to find someone with shared life experience."  
"Your death amounts to the same as your life. A zero sum."  
"Bucky?" "Who the hells Bucky?"  
"Mission report." "The man on the bridge, who was he?" "I knew him." "But I knew him." A whirring. A crackle. A scream.  
The sounds began to blur into each other.  
"You're gonna kill someone." "I'm not gonna kill anyone." "Happy birthday pal," "You know me." "Get me out of here." "Желание. Ржавый. Семнадцать. Рассвет. Печь. Девять. Доброкачественный. Возвращение на родину. Один. Грузовой." "Stop, please. Stop it. Stop." "I'm your friend." "You're my mission." "I don't think I'm worth all this Steve." "I forgot my name again." "I'm here." "He remembered you. Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky. Got all weepy about it, 'til they put his brain back into the blender." "Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky." "Stevie.." a thud. A sob.  
"You're my mission."  
"I'm not going to hurt you.. 'cause I'm with you till the end of the line."  
"He doesn't know you." "He will."

Steve tightened his eyes and pushed Wanda's hand closer to his temple. "Keep going,"  
"Steve.." she whispered, her voice wavering. He opened his eyes to see the occupants of the room staring at them, all with faces of varied emotions. He looked over to Bucky who was scowling deeply, yet had confusion written across his face.  
"Tomorrow?" He looked up at her hopefully. She smiled sadly with a curt nod.  
"Tomorrow."  
Once Steve had left the room, Tony spoke again; "So, they're tortured buddy buddies.."  
Natasha glared at him, "You really are stubborn."


	2. Hush Little Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know the lullaby came out in the 50's but we can pretend

They were all in the common room again, 'Tangled' ("Look Thor - it's you!") playing on the large flatscreen TV.  
"So capsicle, is today the big day?" Tony questioned, chewing slowly on some sugared popcorn.  
Steve shrugged, then, as an afterthought, "Don't talk with food in your mouth," and turned back to the television screen.  
A few more minutes into the film and Bucky, who was sitting against him, whispered "We can do it today if you'd like," Steve smiled down at him and moved to run his fingers through his long hair, "Sure."  
When the movie had ended and everyone was a lot more relaxed, Steve nodded to Wanda and she moved to seat herself behind the two.  
Red strings bloomed from her palms and swirled around their heads. They glowed and glistened, swirling through the atmosphere and pulling up a large screen in the centre of the room - a kind of illusion, visible from all corners of the room. When Steve sighed softly, an image sprung up in the hazy red.

_A woman with long blonde hair was smiling softly down at her arms, where a small baby was cradled. It waved its arms up as she sang in a small voice, "Hush little baby, don't say a word.."_  
"Ma," Steve whispered with a trembling lip. Bucky squeezed his hand.  
_The song continued as the colours shifted, the atmosphere turning grimy and dark; a sharp blend of brown and gray. A punch landed on a smaller blondes jaw._  
_"Mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird."_  
_The image zoomed out to two tall buildings. Between the high, drab umber walls, four figures stood._  
_"Ya like a shiny new punchin' bag, ain't that right John?"_  
_A heavy grunt was followed, and the two larger shapes separated to show a scrawny boy of around 7, holding himself against the stained wall, a painting of bruises forming down his left cheek._  
_"And if that mocking bird don't sing,_  
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.."  
_They pushed him back into the wall with ease. The wind was forced out of him and the last figure - a young girl, tightly clutching a patched up satchel - fled._  
_As she raced down the open street, a body collided with hers, "Careful there sweetheart," A bright young boy, with a mop of dark brown hair, smiled down at her. A grunt echoed through the street. He looked up with furrowed brows and, as the noise came again, ran back down the way the girl had come._  
_"Hey! Pick on someone you're own size!"_  
_He grabbed the back of the two larger boys shirts, and promptly shoved them away. Planting a firm right hook on each of their jaws, they seemed to decide that their game wasn't fun anymore, and left._  
_"You alright, kid?"_  
_"'M fine," he groaned, pushing back off the wall, "an' I'm no kid."_  
_He chuckled, "Sorry pal. I'm James,"_  
" _Steve."_  
~  
_It was a bright Sunday and Steve's Ma had instructed him to go bring the paper to Mrs Minelli on the floor above. The woman lived on the 4th floor and, usually, climbing that many stairs was a task not worth the outcome, but Steve had just been given a new nebulizer (it was portable!) And had keenly accepted the task._  
_He jumped up the stairs two at a time with his eyes trained on his ratted shoes - careful not to go too fast lest he lose his breath. Not looking in front of him proved to be a bad idea he learned as his small frame collided with a slightly larger one. He looked up, ready to apologise, when a large grin took over his face, "James!"_  
_"Oh, hey pal!" Bucky exclaimed. He was thrilled to see his new friend again - it had been weeks since they'd met and he'd forgotten to ask for Steve's address!_  
_"Whatcha doing here?"_  
_"Hm?" Bucky had been focused on the little cut next to Steves jaw, "Oh.. ma Aunt Ida lives on this block, I was givin' her some of my Ma's cherry pie. Do ya live 'ere?"_  
_He got a violent nod in return. "Second floor. Room 28." Steve grinned. They didn't stop seeing each other after that._  
~  
_The two boys that appeared seemed much younger than the ones they knew; the taller of the two had soft eyes, bright and glistening, a light smile playing at his lips. The shorter figure had a young, boyish elegance to his features, complete with a split lip. They were both sprawled over a ratted old couch, the sound of a boiling pot filling the air._  
" _If I knew when I met ya that ya'd be such a lil' punk, I woulda learned a &e or somethin' so's ya ma could take a break!"_  
_Steve laughed and jabbed him in the ribs, a bright "Jerk!" Following._  
~  
" _Woah, that pin is aces!"_  
_"Really? 'S my Pa's." He glanced down at the rusty bird pinned to his thin button up shirt; it's wings were spread out around its proud face, orange rust highlighting the creases of the metal._  
_"Hey Becks, stop bothering Stevie there - 's my job!" Bucky called from the opposing room. Steve chuckled at Becka's pout._  
_"He's laughing - he don't care! Do ya Stevie?" He was about to shake his head no, but Bucky had sneaked up behind the smaller brunette and had picked her up off of the ground. She let out a loud squel as he bundled the small girl in his arms. "I see ya've met my sister," Bucky laughs._  
_"Mhm, she's a real good sport,"_  
_"See!" Becka exclaimed, but was silenced again with a ruffle of her hair and was dropped to the ground._  
~  
_"James Buchanan Barnes, I'm telling Ma," Becka - the small brunette - pouted, crossing her arms in front of her. She really could say some big words for a 5 year old, Steve thought, then laughed at the realisation of what she'd said._  
_"James Buchanan - like the president?"_  
_"Hey, don't start Roger's, I ain't the one who chose it."_  
_"Buck.. ain't he that fella from that play?"_  
_"That's Puck."_  
_"Bucky. I like that, there's too many James'" Bucky smiled at it and the way he stumbled over the latter name._  
_"James-es?"  
_"Shuddup Bucky." Wanda stepped back and the screen blurred back into nothing-ness,  
"You were so small," Peter gaped, breaking the silence. They laughed.  
"Same time tomorrow?" Steve asked the room. They nodded. _Same time tomorrow_ Steve repeated in his head. Bucky squeezed his hand again. __


	3. Best Guy

_"Hey Mrs Rogers, how are ya! Is Stevie 'ere? I got a surprise for him."_  
_Sarah smiled warmly down at him and let him through the door. He was taller here and his face had grown more broad - more boyish._  
_"He's in his room - finishing up a sketch he is,"_  
_"Ah thanks ma'am," he started walking through the cramped living room, but turned back around, "I forgot, my Ma made this for you, 's apple pie."_  
_He rocked on his heels as she took it from him; "Give Wini my thanks," and he sped down to Steve's room._  
_The room was a small rectangle, with a regular wire framed bed pushed against the wall and a sliding window that looked out onto the fire escape and down onto busy Brooklyn life. The walls were beige, but were covered in scraps of paper - newspaper cutouts, sketches and photographs. (Messy like their lives.) Pinned over the collage, an image that centred the small room, a large framed portrait of an angular blonde man, staring ahead under a dark army cap: below that, sitting on the floor, a smaller boy that was in small resemblance to the man in the frame. He was wearing an oversized jumper, paired with gloves of charcoal and not much else. Bucky smiled affectionately at the boy, endorsed in his own world and sketching furiously._  
_He strolled over to him and knelt next to him, "Hey Punk." When he got no reply he chuckled and gently held the blondes chin to face him, "Watcha drawing?"_  
_Steve blushed furiously and shook out of the older boys grip, "Look ya self, jerk," Bucky did, and saw on the thin paper an extremely detailed - for a 15 year old boy, that is - drawing of an apple tree. It was towering over a small girl, its bark resembling a tigers coat. The leaves were curved and practically moving; the apples nestled between the branches glistening under the non-existent sun. Bucky let out a breath. "How long did this take ya Stevie? It's a fuckin' masterpiece,"_  
_Steve laughed bashfully and shrugged, "Went down to the park 'sterday an' saw a little girl, wan'ed to draw 'er," his accent was thick and slurring on the words, despite his quiet voice._  
_"'S swell. Oh, I almost forgot! I got a surprise for ya," he reached into his jacket pocket and brought out a metal bottle cap, a faded orange, the words 'Worlds Best' written in swirling cursive, "It's a badge - see," he opened up the safety pin glued to the back. He pulled Steve's jumper forward and pinned it on. The blonde reached his hand up and held it. "'Cause you're my best guy,"_  
_"Thanks Buck, but ya didn't hafta. It must have cost ya a bright dime,"_  
_"'s no trouble Stevie, some fella was sellin' 'em near the corner store."_  
_"Ya coulda got yourself somethin',"_  
_"I wanted to get you it,"_  
_"Why?"_  
_"'cause I want ya to be happy."_  
_"I am. Thanks pal,"_  
~  
_"I'm gonna fly!" A small brunette called, running around the tall room. Becka was chasing him, shouting out 'William, I'm the best pilot there is!' And 'Ya gonna crash without me.' Across the room from them on the large Persian rug sat Steve and another small brunette, with a soft face similar to Beckas, sitting in Steve's lap. Next to them, Bucky fiddled with an old radio._  
_When a jaunty tune began through the speakers Bucky sprang to his feet, hands out to the little girl, "C'mon Nancy, let me show ya how'ta swing." He grabbed her hands and they began swaying around the room, Nancy stumbling on her chubby legs._  
_"Atta girl Nancy, you gonna have all those fellas fighting for a dance, ain't ya? Ya gonna have one saved for ya brother though ain't ya doll,"_  
_Nacy giggled and shook her head, pointing behind her, "Stevie!" Bucky gasped dramatically at that, winking at Steve - a secret - who stood chuckling behind her._  
_"I see how it is, go on - dance with my best guy," with a gentle push, she waddled to Steve, squeezing his legs with all of her toddler might._  
_"Ma, Willam ain't letting me play with 'im!"_  
_"Willaim Barnes you let ya sister play with ya."_  
_"But Ma-"_  
_"But nothin',"_  
_"I ain't lettin' her play with me, she'll ruin the game,"_  
_"You're the one who always ruins everythin', ya ham,"_  
_"Get ya mugs in 'ere, all three of ya."_  
_"That ain't fair, how's Bucky getta stay,"_  
_"He gotta guest - now out!"_  
_Bucky laughed at the ordeal and turned back to pluck his youngest sister out of Steve's arms, earning a pout from the two (Bucky ruffled both of their hair in return)._ _When the other Barnes children had left to, presumably, help Winifred make dinner, Bucky took a seat on the ottoman - it was a beige colour, seemingly a faded yellow, with a few holes and crayon marks, but comfortable nonetheless - with a charming smile._  
_"So, how've ya been pal?"_  
_"The usual," Steve laughed "Though Ma's taking longer shifts so's I can get more meds,"_  
_Buckys smile fell a little at that. "Ya think it's going to be a tough winter?"_  
_"Always is."_  
_Buckys hand moved to the younger boys knee in comfort, warmth blooming under his touch, and they stayed in each others eyes for a beat longer, the room silent save for the quiet thump of their pulses, mute to the other but at monumous volume to themselves. The brunette searched his friends bright blue eyes - 'oceon blues' as he often called them - before breaking the trance in a low murmer; "I got a date next week, a nice dame - Penny - a pretty blonde. Ya want me to see about one of her friends for ya?" His words were slow and hesitant._  
_They stayed silent for a beat longer, before Steve whispered a sturdy "No."  
The screen melted back to nothing, leaving the crackle of the radio echoing on the walls, blurring into the sound of receding footsteps._


	4. What's it like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for not updating in a while - here's a short and messy chapter, but shit happens so I guess you can't shout at me.

_The sky was white - a low fog ran through the streets of Brooklyn, chasing away the sun._  
_"You boys be back before the rain starts - don't want ya gettin' another cold,"_  
_"Don't worry Mrs Roger's, I'll make sure Stevie don't get too wet."_  
_They waved her goodbye and carried on down from the apartment block. When they reached the cold, quaint street, a heavy wind began, whistling in burning swirls across their faces._  
_The cold was biting; Steve slowed down his steps to be behind his friend, desperately trying to not let Bucky see the shivers racking his small frame. Despite his best efforts, the brunette did, shaking his head lightly._  
_"You shoulda worn another coat,"_  
_"I would'a looked like a right marshmallow if I did,"_  
_Bucky let out a loud, heavy breath and turned to look at him. "You want mine?"_  
_Steve elbowed him._  
_"C'mon Punk, ya gonna get sick,"_  
_"No ya jerk, I'm fine-"_  
_"Ya Ma would kill me," he said in a firm tone, promptly cutting Steve off. "You want that? A life without ya best Pal?" He slid out of his red varsity jacket and carefully draped it over Steve's slender shoulders._  
_Don't argue with me on this Pal- look, jus' one more street,"_  
_Steve grumbled under his breath, but tightened the jacket around his torso nonetheless - Bucky glanced at him from the corner of his eye and smiled; the blonde had a blush high on his cheeks and neck, the rest of his body drowned in the coat - and they made their way to the Barnes household._ _"Stevie!" Becka called from her seat beside Nancy._  
_"Hey suga'" he grinned, wiping his feet on the the dusty floor mat ('welcome' was written in a messy charcoal scrawl)._  
_"I thought I was ya suga'," Bucky smirked, moving to ruffle Nancy's fine brown hair._  
_"Depends on the day,"_  
_Bucky hummed thoughtfully, then turned to call down the narrow blue hallway; "Ma, Pa, 'm home!"_  
_"James - come help with dinner!"_  
_"I just got in!"_  
_"What, ya got something better to do?"_  
_"I got Stevie ma,"_  
_"He can help too!"_  
_Bucky raised an incredulous brow at Steve, who shrugged, when an older man came rushing in, ushering the two up the stairs, "I'm comin' sweetheart!". They mouthed their thank-yous, before scrambling up the stairs._ _"So, how was the date?"_  
_"Was good - blew a few pennies at Arnies,"_  
_They made their way to Bucky's room, where the brunette held the door open for Steve. The blond smiled, "They have the best shakes,"_  
_"That they do pal,"_  
_Sitting on Buckys single bed, Steve couldn't help but steal a glance at his lips, where another pair had been just hours before, then caught himself, forcing his eyes up to the older boys. He got a smile as Bucky shuffled closer, the smell of his fading cologne irritating his senses - he was hyper aware of own self, but oblivious to the world around him - when a callous hand closed around his own small ones._  
_Steve looked up. "What was it like?"_  
_"What was what like?"_  
_"Kissin'."_  
_They kept eye contact for a second longer, Steve retracing his words, regret swallowing him, when Bucky pressed his lips to the shorter boys, surprising Steve with its suddenness; he kept his eyes open, gaze studying the shape of Bucky's nose, the colour of his lashes. He'd asked and his question had been answered, so he let his own eyes flutter shut, when a hand came up to knead the back of his head._ _Bucky hesitated, before tilting his face to the left and easing Steve to relax against him. The smell of warm soup drifted around them, matching the taste of bitter smoke on Steve's lips. He could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, pulsing to the rhythm of Steve's breaths; his lips were silken, pillowy against his own, the warm, soft trickle of breath beneath his nose dazing him as he carded his fingers through short blonde hair._  
_All he knew was the feel of Steve's shirt beneath his fingers, their pounding pulses, their short inhales of breath, the- "James!"_  
_They jumped apart, Steve's eyebrows furrowed, Bucky's own raised high on his head,_  
_"I'm- I'm gonna go,"  
_Bucky nodded minutely, gaze fixed on where his friend had just sat, as Steve sped from his room, still drowned in his red varsity.__


End file.
